Sample Composition with corrections 1

Essay : Leisure Time

Everyone has different ways of spending his or her free time. As for me, I usually do reading when I have free time. Most of the time, I read alone. I think because of through reading, I can find out how beautiful this discover the beauty of the world. is.

When I was young, my parents were always busy working.; Therefore, they bought me a lot of books to keep me company accompany me. Through reading, I have made friends with the Three Little Pigs, Snow White, Red Riding Hood, and so on. Since then, reading is has become an important part of my life. Books, magazines, or newspaper are very handy to carry around with. The smallness of sizes and the lightweights of reading materials made it very convenient for me to put them into my handbag. so various that I can pick up any size of them with me at anytime. Besides, Moreover, I can read whenever and wherever I choose to. at anytime, Even just a shred during an interval of time, like waiting for a bus or at break time at in school or at work.; Some people even use time to read while they are in the toilets. In short, I can enjoy reading no matter when or where.

In addition to the convenience, reading also enriches my life, brings gives me a lot of fun, and releases me from the my pressures of modern living. I live in Taiwan and I'm an elementary school teacher. While reading books on of travel, like “Lonely Planet” for example, I would got to know what about other countries are like and what their cultures and customs too. ; also, I can also get to would know about other peoples' stories through reading their biographies. Besides, while reading, When I am immersed in a novel for example, I share can experience the same feelings, such as excitement, sadness and happiness, with the characters in the books. I went to the Hogwarts with Harry Potter, fell in love with Romeo and Juliet, and decoded secret ancient codes with The Da Vinci Code; all of which brought me enormous pleasure. such a good time. With Through reading, I can forget all about this material set aside all the cares of this material world and just dive into the world books provide. Reading relieves me from the burdens of the life, and serves as an outlet for my frustrations.

I usually do reading alone when I have free time. Reading alone doesn't make me antisocial. mean that I don't like to read with others., It is just because most of time, I'm I happen to be alone when I have free time. In short, doing reading when I'm free can broaden my horizons, mind make me happy, and help me relax.


After Correction

　

Everyone has different ways of spending his or her free time. As for me, I usually do reading when I have free time. Most of the time, I read alone. I think through reading, I can discover the beauty of the world.

When I was young, my parents were always busy working. Therefore, they bought me a lot of books to keep me company. Through reading, I have made friends with the Three Little Pigs, Snow White, Red Riding Hood, and so on. Since then, reading has become an important part of my life. Books, magazines or newspaper are very handy to carry around with. The smallness of size and the lightweight of reading materials made it very convenient for me to put them into my handbag. Moreover, I can read whenever and wherever I choose to. Even during an interval of time, like waiting for a bus or at break time in school or at work. Some people even read while they are in the toilets. In short, I can enjoy reading no matter when or where.

In addition to the convenience, reading also enriches my life, gives me a lot of fun, and releases me from the pressures of modern living. I live in Taiwan and I'm an elementary school teacher. While reading books on travel, like “Lonely Planet” for example, I got to know about other countries and their cultures and customs too. I can also get to know about other peoples' stories through their biographies. When I am immersed in a novel for example, I can experience the same feelings, such as excitement, sadness and happiness, with the characters in the books. I went to the Hogwarts with Harry Potter, fell in love with Romeo and Juliet, and decoded secret ancient codes with The Da Vinci Code; all of which brought me enormous pleasure. Through reading, I can set aside all the cares of this material world and just dive into the world books provide. Reading relieves me from the burdens of life, and serves as an outlet for my frustrations.

I usually do reading alone when I have free time. Reading alone doesn't make me anti-social. It is just because most of time, I happen to be alone when I have free time. In short, doing reading when I'm free can broaden my horizons, make me happy, and help me relax.

　

Corrected and explained

　

Everyone has different ways of spending his or her free time. As for me, I usually do reading when I have free time. Most of the time,(“the” is necessary here) I read alone. I think because of (You are not wrong, but I just thought “through” is a better word) through reading, I can find out how beautiful this (“discover” is a much more emotional word than “find out”. “Beauty of the world” sounds better) discover the beauty of the world. is.

When I was young, my parents were always (emphasize “always” to give it a stronger feel) busy working.; Therefore, they bought me a lot of (“a lot of” gives tells the reader more than just buying “books”) books to keep me company (You are not wrong, but try “keeping me company” as a variation) accompany me. Through reading, I have (“have made”, “have eaten”, “have taken”) made friends with the Three Little Pigs, Snow White, Red Riding (Don't forget the “Riding”) Hood, and so on. Since then, reading is has become (“Has become” stresses the fact that it was never before) an important part of my life. Books, magazines, (No “,” when you have the “or”) or newspaper are very handy to carry around with. (emphasize that you want to “carry them around”) The smallness of sizes and the lightweights (“sizes and weights” is not wrong, but sounds like an expression used in your science books) of reading materials made it very convenient for me to put them into my handbag. (Make your description more graphic, like “putting in your handbag” so the reader will try to picture or imagine what you are doing) so various that I can pick up any size of them with me at anytime. Besides, Moreover, (meaning besides) I can read whenever and wherever (meaning anytime and anywhere) I choose to. at anytime, Even just a shred during an interval (Not “shred of time” but “interval of time”) of time, like waiting for a bus or at break time at in school or at work.; Some people even use time to read while they are in the toilets. In short, I can enjoy reading no matter when or where.

In addition to the convenience, reading also (“also” because it is an additional point you are making) enriches my life, brings gives (“bring” is not wrong.) me a lot of fun, and releases me from the my pressures of modern living.(Pressure from what? Why not tell the reader it is from modern living) I live in Taiwan and I'm an elementary school teacher. While reading books on of travel, like “Lonely Planet” for example (“Lonely Planet” is a popular book about travel), I would got to know what about other countries are like and what their cultures and customs too. ; also, I can also get to (“get to know” as in trying or attempting to find out about something) would know about other peoples' stories through reading their biographies. Besides, while reading, When I am immersed (“immersed” as in very indulged or very focused in doing something) in a novel (Novel, why not tell what you are reading) for example, I share can experience (“share's is alright, but experience is a feeling of been into something physically. A more powerful way to describe your feelings) the same feelings, such as excitement, sadness and happiness, with the characters in the books. I went to the Hogwarts with Harry Potter, fell in love with Romeo and Juliet, and decoded secret ancient codes with The Da Vinci Code; all of which brought me enormous pleasure.(“enormous” means “big or huge”) such a good time. With Through reading, I can forget all about this material set aside all the cares of this material (or all the woes of this world. Meaning the worries or concerns) world and just dive into the world books provide. Reading relieves me from the burdens of the life, and serves as an outlet for my frustrations.(An “outlet” is a “channel” and in this context, it means to vent your anger, or frustrations)

I usually do reading alone when I have free time. Reading alone doesn't make me antisocial.(“Antisocial” means not wanting to be around people or doing things that others disapprove of, socially) mean that I don't like to read with others., It is just because most of time, I'm I happen to be (“Happen to be” means “by chance” like “I happened to see him at the department store) alone when I have free time. In short, doing reading when I'm free can broaden my horizons, (Your “horizons” are the things you know, or your knowledge base, so to speak) mind make me happy, and help me relax.